The first barrier to love we will explore in our six-part blog series Barriers to Love is RESENTMENT. This emotion is a mix of disappointment, fear and anger. It is “the bitter indignation of having been treated unfairly.”
Have you ever felt victimized by the bad behavior of others? Did you notice how it ate you up inside and started to spill over into other parts of your life? Take a moment to make a list of all the ways you feel your past partners have let you down. Here are a few common resentments in case you need help getting started. My partners:
- don’t listen to me.
- are verbally, emotionally or physically abusive.
- don’t support my efforts to make positive changes in my nutrition or exercise habits.
- don’t want me to have friendships outside of our relationship.
- take advantage of me financially.
- expect me to do everything.
- humiliate me.
- don’t meet my sexual needs.
Now that you got that off your chest, consider this… what if you are the one who has not shown up for yourself? What if the one who has let you down the most is you because you didn’t set clearer boundaries around your own wants, needs and expectations? It’s common that the voices in our own heads are even more verbally and emotionally abusive than anything someone is going to say to us. Resentment breeds and festers the most when we don’t listen to our own needs. How can we expect someone else to treat us well if we can’t do it for ourselves? It is up to us to teach the world how to treat us!